How can you find your steady source of strength?

Find your steady source of strength

I had my mum stay with me visiting from the UK. She’s 82 and she’s amazing – I realise now how lucky I am to be able to say that, because some people don’t feel like that about their parents – but I do and I really appreciate it and I can see how much strength she has given me. She can’t walk very well anymore and has had a few health issues over the past few years, so she didn’t know if she’d make it out it here again, but she kept a quiet hope inside that she might and she did! It’s that quiet hope that we all need sometimes to keep going when we want to give up.

I can’t tell you how nice it was to have her here. Having lived away from my home country for nearly 30 years, I do miss it and it means the world to me to have her here. My mum inspires me now. She hasn’t done anything that you’d outwardly recognise as amazing or different, but she’s been a steady source of strength and safety for me my whole life and I think that’s pretty amazing.

I’ve always traveled a lot – kinda just taken off really and followed an idea, taken a path and often one that surprises others or one that has not been walked very much. Just coming here from the UK after finishing UNI was a leap into the unknown, but knowing mum was there for me has been a guiding compass and a place to call home (oh no that’s mum’s favourite show!!!) I know that I was able to do that because I always knew I had a safe and solid base to go back to. A bit like a giant landing cushion under a giant hire-wire. It gave me the security to have a go and come back when I needed to – without judgment. Always a big hug and a welcome home where I felt loved and supported.

Being a mountain goat, I have a tendency to carry on regardless, doggedly following a plan even if it stops being fun or stops feeling right. But while I took a step back, I realised a few key things.

  1. Firstly I needed to let go of the struggle. I have a lot of integrity around what I’m doing and I truly believe in my own philosophies, so I needed to take a leaf out of my own book and LET GO and LET IT FLOW!
  2. I am committed to living to the principles of my program – but I realise that If I was to truly believe – I would be delivering more of my own creativity to the world.  So I’ve been working behind the scenes to create a new platform that’s been a seed of an idea for a very long time! – more about that soon!!!
  3. I needed to believe in myself more and give my own designs and ideas a place to shine.

If you’re taking a path less traveled, it can get a bit bumpy. We all need to know that someone’s got our back. That we are safe enough to take those steps and that if we fall (which we most likely will) that someone will be there to pick us up, dust us off and see us on our way.

If you’ve got a big business vision or just a big vision – you’re most likely a trailblazer of sorts. Sure, you might not be a born leader or a gregarious type – but you need to cut a track and that means you’ve got to find some strength to take some bold moves. Make some difficult decisions and find your own way.

For me, I have many people that are there for me, that I trust implicitly. I also have methods and rituals that I do that keep me strong and keep me going. This template will help you take stock of what you do, or bring you some new ideas of what you can do, to gather your personal army of supporters that will have your back. Or prepare a list of your own traits and traditions that you can build into a routine to keep you strong.


How to know when to Recommit and when to Release

If you’re working on a big project, like building a business, sometimes you reach a point when you question your steps and even ask yourself if it’s time to walk away. It’s a times like these we need to ask ourselves a few hard questions and decided if it’s time to recommit, or time to release.

It’s easy to keep plugging away at something, either through the lack of courage to face it head on and actually ask if it’s what you really want to be doing, or because you kinda just fall back into a groove and keep going. Or because you’re doggedly determined that you’re gonna make it happen no matter what, when in reality, things need a shake up. But how do you choose which to keep and which to let go of?

After a bit of a break and coping with some sad events, I know it’s time to review what I’m focused on. To take stock and re-assess where I’m spending my precious time.

For me, I like to be either 100% in or 100% out. If I’m sitting on the fence wondering if I’m doing the right thing and ignoring niggling doubts, I can’t focus properly and I won’t enjoy my day!  It’s the worst feeling to be half-in half-out. You end up doing things half-heartedly with a niggling feeling that keeps questioning yourself all the time. The fact is, we can choose to do anything, there’s no real right or wrong, only a decision that we choose to adopt whole-heartedly, or not. The outcome is never guaranteed. The results are never known. No matter how hard we work, or how focused we are, we never really know for sure if it’s right or wrong, or if it will work or not.

The most important thing is whether we believe in what we’re doing and how we take actions based on the decision we’ve made. If we approach it with doubt and insecurity, it’s pretty much doomed for failure. If we approach it with faith and confidence, there’s a much stronger chance of success and of course enjoying the steps along the way.

I’ve hung on to things in the past that could have bene let go of much earlier, and I’ve let things go that could have maybe worked if I’d given it more time. Because sometimes things do need to change. It’s the most natural thing in the world, change, but one that we all resist so much. It’s not as scary as you think, it’s the making the decision that is really the most difficult, once the decision is made, the change happens more easily. So how do you make a decision whether to change things or keep going?

If you’re sitting on the fence with a few decisions that need to be made, here’s a questionnaire you can use to help make your choices from a well-rounded perspective on things. First, I suggest you get really clear on what you’re trying to decide, what do you want to re-commit to? Or what would you like to improve, change or maybe leave? We have three choices at any given time: We can accept things the way they are, we can change things, or we can leave them. Then go to a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for about an hour and ask yourself the following questions. Answer them honestly and clearly.

  1. Do you just need to re-commit? Everyone needs to re-commit and there’s no problem with that. We can all lose sight of the end vision and forget the real reasons why we are doing something, so it’s so important to tune in with those reasons and visions regularly.
  2. Get Real. Sometimes we need to take a reality check and take a step back from the doing and check that what we are doing is taking us where we want to go. Is the work, effort, sacrifice you’re taking worth the end result?
  3. Don’t take the cookies out before they’re cooked. Sometimes we just expect things to happen too quickly – but how quickly is too quickly?
  4. Are you too hung up on the outcome? If all you’re hankering for is the end result, you’re missing the journey along the way.
  5. Are you worried about what others will think, say or do?
  6. Take a joy test! How much enjoyment are you getting? There’s a ‘shit’ sandwich in anything we do, but I don’t think this should be a very big one! How much time are you realistically putting into your project and how much is bringing you joy?
  7. How often have you been thinking about changing it? Has it been consuming your thoughts for some time and you’ve been pushing them away?
  8. Take the balance test. What have you let slip in order to focus on your goals and visions. Sometimes we get too hung up on one thing and lose sight of the other equally important things in our lives that need attention.
  9. Are your expectations too high?
  10. What can you do to change things? How can you approach things differently? What are you choices right now? (Accept it, change it or leave)

Once you’ve been through the ten questions, you should have some clarity around what you’d like to recommit to and what you’d like to release. To really commit, now is the best time to make some clear and solid decisions that you feel your can commit to. Choose a timeframe that you’re comfortable committing to, don’t make it too long so you run the risk of burning out, but don’t make it too short so you can’t see any results. I recommend around 3-4 months if possible.

To help you work through these questions, I’ve created you a template.

You can download it as a pdf HERE.


    Download this 10 question template to assess where you need to recommit and what you need to release.

Take the time to use when you feel the need to make some changes – you will feel clearer and more confident about the decisions you’re able to commit to!

Release the stress – allow a path to open up in front of you

The one thing that causes us more pain and frustration than anything, I believe, is the desire to make things happen. Our obsessions as humans, with goals, deadlines, outcomes, results causes dissatisfaction and stress. Even those words themselves make me feel a bit stressed!

I know myself, that whenever stress comes along and I get to the root of the problem, it’s pretty much always because I’ve lost the enjoyment in the moment, because I’m looking too far down the path towards an outcome or an end result.  You’d think by now that we’d have realised that the beauty and the real essence of life is in the here and now. But we’re still obsessed with trying to control things!

But then how do you achieve anything without goals? How does anything get done without a deadline? If we don’t know where we’re going, how are we going to get there? And how do we know if we’ve done it right? Been successful?

These questions are based on an old paradigm, one that needs a severe overhaul.

I know I’d be happy and content a lot more if I could learn to live in flow. And that is my desire – to eliminate stress. To let go of the need to know. To release the fear around achieving and outcome. To stop worrying about whether ‘it will work’ or ‘if it’s right’ or ‘if it’s the best way’ and just allow the next steps to unfold with faith and trust that my inner knowing is guiding me.

How do you do that? Cultivate self-awareness – which leads to a higher level of consciousness. That simply means being quiet and awake enough to hear and know – to see the signs and hear the guidance that comes from within and putting ourselves in the best possible mind space to make the next best decision!

Think about a time when you were quietly confident about your chosen path. Maybe it was one that others doubted or questioned, but you just knew that you were on the right path and you were going down it regardless. That’s the kind of quiet confidence you get when you know yourself enough to make your decisions with confidence and faith that you’ll meet the people you need when you step out on the path and that you’ll work out what you need to do when you need to.

Maybe it sounds a little intangible – verging on woo woo and quite possibly irresponsible, but let’s think about this for a minute.

We want to let go of worry. When did worrying about anything ever improve a situation? Worrying simply takes you out of flow and inhibits your ability to make good decisions in the moment.

How do we know if something is ‘right’. How can anything be right or wrong? What is right for one person might be totally wrong for a another.

How is it possible to control an outcome? Life by nature is changeable and to think we can control it would be foolish.

If we are living in our highest state of consciousness, we have the power to change what’s in front of us minute by minute just by making a decision that aligns with our truest self.

The path opens up in front of you if you have self awareness and are conscious. The Big Vision Baby Steps journey is a continuous exploration of self-awareness towards living at a higher consciousness. Each step in the book gives you a bit more self-awareness and allows you to see things just a little clearer and make better, clearer decisions.

To Hear and Know leads to being able to enjoy the Here and Now

16 Simple reminders to let go and take your best steps daily

Waking up feeling the best is a rare occurrence for me. Frequently I need to shift my mindset into a more positive, happy and calm state. Keep this simple list of reminders handy and choose something you like to do in the morning – or any time – to get you back on track.

Taking the time to get into the best frame of mind helps you take your best steps every day. It’s usually something so simple that will give you that little nudge to get you feeling good again.

  1. Remind yourself not be attached to the outcome.
  2. Be open to anything and attached to nothing. Each day is a new day and a new start. Start where you are.
  3. Be in the moment. Let go of anything that blocks you from embracing the here and now. It might be something so simple that you need to let go of.
  4. Give not get. Deliver not sell. If there’s one sure-fire way to feel better, it’s to focus on someone else. So focus on what you can give and you’ll instantly open up doors and feel better.
  5. Be grateful. Always, always always see what is front of you. Don’t focus on what if’s – look at what is and don’t miss what’s already in front of you worrying about what’s not.
  6. Get grounded. Finding a way to stop and get in touch with your senses, the earth allows you to take away the chatter of the mind and tune in with your body. I like to practice a few minutes of Qi Gong and go through my 5 senses as I do it.
  7. Let go of negative thought. Bring in positive energy and ideas.
  8. Put joy at the heart of what you do. Remember the big why, the enjoyment that you want your pursuits to bring you and steer your choices towards getting more joy each day.
  9. Don’t do it to be seen. Do it to be happy. If you’re in business, it can sometimes seem a constant struggle to be seen and heard. But bottom line, we do what we do to be happy, not to be seen. When we are happy, we do great things which get noticed.
  10. Move from your head to your heart. There’s a reason why we bow our heads to our heart. It’s so we can stop and hear what our hearts want, rather than being a slave to our thoughts.
  11. Don’t try and re-create the same day twice. Be nice to yourself. So what if you didn’t exercise today and you did yesterday? So what if you feel tired today and not as energised as you did last week. Accept each day for what it is and work from there.
  12. If you can’t talk yourself out of it, walk yourself out of it. Trying to think and worry and fix everything in your head? Go for a walk. Works every time.
  13. Look at things from a higher perspective. Don’t get caught up in the detail, step back and see things from a fresh view point.
  14. Focus on the feelings. The why. Not the how. The how can stress you out. There are numerous hows and they become clear when the why is in place.
  15. Start. Do something. Anything. Write. Walk. Talk. Move. Do SOMETHING. The best you can do is the right thing. The next best thing is the wrong thing. The worst you can do is nothing.

Reminders are the best way to keep doing the things that matter most – every day.

Finding Clarity Daily – How to feel good about your next steps

Clarity doesn’t just come and stay, it’s something we have to keep getting. If we’re clear about things, generally we feel happy right? We’re confident about how things are going according to what we want. It gives us a sense of peace and contentment that we’re on the right path. That everything is going to be OK.

But I think the assumption is that clarity should come and stay like a shining beacon guiding our way. That we will consistently feel good about our life and have a strong direction. We think we should know what we’re here for, what our purpose is, what life is all about. We want to know that we are safe and secure and that our family is provided for. We want to wake up and bounce out of bed like a 5 year old with not a care in the world, full of energy and vitality and pumped about the day ahead. That means we know exactly how the day will go, we’ve got it fully planned and we feel super confident and ready to enjoy and get on with our life full of confidence and vigour!

I guess you might have worked out that our days are not always like that. I know mine aren’t. Even though I’m following own path, making my own choices and living the way I want to, some days they are still fuzzy or a bit fearful. Some days we struggle to get out of bed at all.

The key is to re-commit and the way to do that is regain clarity.

Clarity to me is many things and takes many forms:
* It’s gaining a new perspective on life and how we’re living it.
* It’s appreciating where we are at right now, what we have and seeing things how they really are.
* It’s stopping and seeing, feeling and hearing – it’s using all our senses to enjoy life as best we can.
* Sometimes we have to stop focusing on where we’re going and just be with where we’re at – and that’s clarity too.
Clarity is not just seeing things as they are but also tuning in or changing how you feel about how they are.

It’s not just about being able to look forward and KNOW where we’re going, because sometimes we don’t. In fact we never truly know where we’re going, we only ever FEEL a certain way about where we think we’re going.

We mostly like to feel comfortable, or confident or calm about where we’re going. The good news we can always do that if we take the time to find our way again. We might not have control over exactly what happens and when, but we always have control about how we FEEL about it.

I like to regain my clarity daily by doing a few simple things to re-commit and re-tune in with where I’m at right now.

The whole of Path 1 is about self-awareness and finding fresh clarity in what you’re doing and how you’re being. They’re not things you do once and then say I’ve done it, what next. They are things that need to be woven into your life and enjoyed regularly. I have built these five activities into my lifestyle.

Sometimes I think we chastise ourselves unfairly for having to do the same things over and over again. But in truth, that’s how life is. We have to eat, move, breathe, exercise every day. So to have to include a few other rituals that bring us back into good and happy space is not unrealistic.

Try enjoying the five steps from my personal clarity path and build them into your routine.

1. Wake-up slow down. Take the time to reflect on your feelings
2. Create a morning ritual, that allows you to put the joy back into what you’re doing and re-commit
3. Find your still space. Don’t avoid being still and hearing what your thoughts are really telling you
4. Check in with your perfect day. Are you already living it?
5. Create, check in or re-create your vision board. Is it somewhere you can see it daily?

My feeling better plan – how to stop worrying about what if and enjoy what is

When you think you’ve heard all the quotes you can, another one comes along just at the right time. “If you’re worrying about what if’s, you’re probably missing out on the what is”

I heard this on a movie last night. It’s so true for many of us. And I think it’s where we might be at right now. It’s easy to get caught up in the future, worrying about ‘what if’. Or maybe stressing about what isn’t. The thing to remember is to bring it back to the here and now. Again. And again. And again. What is here and now. What is real. What is good. What is bringing you joy and contentment.

To appreciate what is, and stop worrying about what might be, we need to stop and listen for a moment.

Here’s how I do it in four (sometimes not so) simple steps.

  1. Remove the frustration. Usually there’s some level of frustration around how I’m feeling. Maybe I’m doing something you don’t want to be doing, or resisting doing something I know I need to do. Or perhaps just experiencing a feeling of discomfort that I can’t really put my finger on. First I know I need to remove the frustration by letting go, even if just for a moment.
  2. Release the fear. Then I can begin to release any fear that might be there. Usually it’s because I’m thinking too far ahead and I need to pull myself back into the moment.
  3. Follow your heart. By focusing on the hear and now, I can begin to feel my way forward. I can usually hear thoughts that are guiding me towards a simple next step. One that brings me simple joy. Even if it’s a really small one, it’s one that gives me a feeling of calm and contentment that I follow.
  4. Find your freedom path. Then I’m usually back on some kind of calm and happy track that keeps me moving forward.

This process usually involves self-care, being nice to yourself and treating yourself with kindness rather than criticising yourself for not having your shit together! Feeling your way through and not feeding your negative or fearful thoughts.

Here’s a few things I do as I go through this process.

  1. Walk. A ten minute walk will clear the mind and refresh your thinking. Perfect way to let go and listen.
  2. Qi gong. Grounding exercise to still the mind and body. I like to introduce a few simple mantras to set my intentions.
  3. Write. The best way to let go of frustrating thoughts, un-finished ideas and pent-up fears. No-one has to see them except for you!
  4. Have a cup of tea. My all time favourite. How can you not feel better?
  5. Do some yoga. Working through the nooks and crannies of the body has a way of clearing the same in the mind.
  6. Get up and move. Just do something! The worst thing you can do is sit and ponder, it will lead to a downward spiral that’s hard to get out of.

These work – every time. How long and how many you need to do varies, but if you keep them in your daily routine, make time and space for them regularly, you will find you are more centred, calmer and have more clarity to take your next steps calmly and happily.

Living the dream? what does that really mean …

I had a conversation this week with someone I admire; she’s living in one of the most beautiful spots in the world, enjoying what seems to be the most amazing vocation – and enjoying the lifestyle and learning and growing with her craft. She said during the conversation – yep – ‘living the dream’. I’ve heard that said before a few times and it got me thinking.

I think it’s only now that I really understand what it means.

Living the dream used to conjure up days of inspiration and fulfilment, feeling constantly wired about life and having some kind of charmed existence that’s only reserved for the lucky ones.

Now I see that living the dream is not necessarily about everything falling into place and becoming an amazing, hassle free existence. But first of all, I must say that living the dream should be no less appealing and sought after, as it is still the best way to live.

  • For me, it’s following your heart when you feel scared.
  • It’s making decisions that others sometimes don’t understand with and having the faith and confidence to follow through.
  • It’s getting up and doing the same stuff – over and over again – including the stuff you’d rather not do.
  • It’s trying things that haven’t been done before rather than relying on how it’s been done before.
  • It’s remembering to be grateful for the days where you are struggling, along with the days you are floating on cloud nine – because you don’t get one without the other.
  • It’s enjoying every single minute as best you can, because you know you’ve chosen it and you’d rather be doing this than anything else – even with all its pitfalls.

Yes – living the dream is great, but it’s also challenging, bumpy and little bit scary sometimes. Unless your dream is to float along waiting for life to take you on its twists and turns. It’s worth following your dream, because it means you get to live your dream.

Why is it really the best way to live? Because living your dream is not about waiting for a dream to come true. It doesn’t mean you work hard knowing you’re going to get huge rewards or massive recognition. Living the dream means you’re doing what you’d do anyway. When you take everything else away, the huge financial wins, the viral posts and the massive lists. The big brand and the safe business. Whatever you seek, whatever you’re chasing, may not come about, but living the dreams means you’re happy seeking it, content in chipping steadily away at the next goal and steadily taking the next step, knowing you’re where you want to be, doing what you want to do – regardless of the outcome. THAT’S living the dream.

Not living the dream?

  • Is wondering what if.
  • Doubting and not doing.
  • Second guessing and procrastinating.
  • Fearing and failing before starting.
  • Giving up before you’ve even given it a go.
  • Living someone else’s life
  • Chasing someone else’s dreams
  • Following someone else’s path
  • Copying someone else’s vision.

No thank you…

Soak up the details of your life – right here right now

Soak up the details of your life – right here right now. This week I’m taking the time to tune in and acknowledge what’s really important to me right now.  And that means letting go of routine, struggling and striving, for a week or two while I regroup and count my blessings!

I’ve had a great month here in the UK – It’s given me a chance to take a look at things from a higher perspective (at a distance) and my priority has been my mum. I’ve been lucky enough to be able to take quality time to enjoy and focus on what (or in this case ‘who’), is right in front of me – right here right now.

I’m always mindful of time passing when I come here because my time is limited. But that does give me a really good reason to soak everything little thing up with a photographic vision. I look at things in more detail, I’m totally present every day wherever I am, whoever I’m with because I don’t want to miss a bit. I slow down and enjoy the detail in nature. I listen more intently to my conversations. I look for more opportunities in appreciating where I am, rather than thinking about where I’d rather be. Time slows down and I get to see more, hear more, connect more. I enjoy it more and I come back with more memories. I also see and remember the good in things – I have what they call my ‘rose coloured’ glasses on – memories are shinier and prettier with those on so I try to keep them all as much as possible!

The tendency when we are with the same people every day, or in the same place, is to let those juicy details pass by without noticing them. Life sweeps us along on a tide of doing and achieving, seeking and struggling and sadly, those details get swamped in a sea of chores and mindless activities. People even become an interference rather than a joy and work becomes a necessity rather than a purposeful adventure!

I encourage you to do the same over the next week: enjoy what’s in front of you – be present for what’s here right now and let go of the need to be more, have more – just enjoy what’s here and now! Soak up the details of your life this week while you enjoy whatever you are doing this Christmas time. Sure, it may not be perfect, but it is here and it is nearly always OK. And just because someone is ‘supposedly’ going to be here next week, and the next, and the next – well maybe they won’t be. So soak it up now. Embrace what you have. Be grateful and be happy today.

Choose from joy. Can you make your 2018 a year of joyful choices?

As I continue my trip to England and enjoy spending time with my family here, I’m constantly reminded of lovely times from the past. Like how when I was a child, every Wednesday evening, my dad would take me to piano lessons. He’d then take me to a sweet shop where I would often spend way too long trying to choose a chocolate bar. I’m forever in awe at Dad’s patience waiting for me to choose!

It got me thinking about how powerful having a choice is. Every day (if we’re lucky) we are given SO many choices! Some small – what will I have for breakfast? What will I wear?  Some large. (Shall I marry my partner? Should I sell my house?)

Sometimes, though, it’s only when our choices are taken away do we realize how valuable it is – the ability to choose. The choice to walk, talk, sing, laugh, eat, move. Simple choices we take for granted every day, right up to those big life choices we make that shape our lives.

One choice I believe we overlook and maybe don’t appreciate is how we spend our time every day. Our ‘career’, our ‘job’ – the activity that we do every day that pays the bills and fuels our life. Most of us have a wide range of choices as to how we spend our days. From when we are young, we get given opportunities to take so many different and fulfilling paths.

So why is then, I wonder, that so many people choose every day to turn up to jobs that merely, or sometimes not even, tick the boxes, pay the bills, fill in time. How do they allow life to turn into a dreary drudge of existing with their days spent doing things that don’t fulfill their lives more than making money? When you think about it, it’s truly crazy. But I understand how it happens.

  • We choose from fear instead of faith.
  • We choose from duty instead of joy.
  • We choose from doubt – based on what we know now, rather than what we believe we can achieve.

I believe it’s as simple as my good friend Robyn Pacey reminds me – by choosing from the heart:

How do you choose from the heart? You find your own center and make a choice from there

  1. Make time and space for SELF-AWARENESS
  2. Allow yourself the ritual of SELF-CARE
  3. Listen to your true self and follow your JOY COMPASS
  4. Build your SELF-CONFIDENCE
  5. Learn how to re-center and RECOMMIT to what you truly care about.


  1. Make time and space for SELF-AWARENESS
    Self-awareness is as simple as allowing yourself time to hear your innermost thoughts and asking yourself the right questions. Sometimes they’re the ones you avoid. The more self-aware you are, the more you can make decisions that align with you and bring you more joy and fulfillment. If you find it difficult making decisions, it means you do not really know yourself and leads to making choices to please others – more duty than joy!
  2. Allow yourself the ritual of SELF-CARE
    Self-awareness incorporates self-care. Being kind to yourself means you allow yourself time to think, to breathe, to rest, to be. Instead of filling your life up with demands, duties, and distractions, you give yourself the gift of time to yourself, to refill your energy, to re-spark your life and hear and honor your desires.
  3. Listen to your true self and follow your JOY COMPASS
    When you are more self-aware, you allow time for self-care, you are more able to listen to and be your true self – and then you can recognize and follow your JOY COMPASS. Your joy compass is always there, but sometimes we hear, but we don’t acknowledge. We ignore the obvious and take the difficult path instead of the joyful one. Choices sometimes require courage to go a different way, choosing a different path – one that is non-conventional or maybe not approved by family or friends. Allowing yourself the simple gift of exploring what it is that really lights you up keeps your life on a truly joyful path.
  4. Build your SELF-CONFIDENCE
    With a clear sense of self, you are ready to test out your choices and allow yourself forgiveness of making mistakes. You know that decisions are not necessarily right or wrong, just different. You don’t let others dictate and totally guide your life, but you have faith that whatever choice you make you will accept and move forward with. You know you can handle the outcome and that it’s only a wrong choice if you decide it’s a wrong choice. Every decision, every action you make can be re-framed as the right one and every outcome can be seen as being OK if you choose to see it that way.
  5. Learn how to re-center and RECOMMIT to what you truly care about.
    And as you are self-aware, enjoy regular self-care, follow your joy compass with self-confidence – the only thing left to do is keep doing it! Making a choice one day means you need to follow it through. Most decisions require an ongoing commitment of some kind – so your task is to do what it takes to get back to your self-assured, self-confident ‘self’ to keep moving forward and take the necessary steps to keep going. It’s a circle – you listen, you take care of yourself, you make a choice based on joy, you confidently move forward and then you do it all over again!


If we could all choose from the heart, make decisions based on courage rather than fear and choose joy over duty, I wonder how the world would look?

How do you keep your hopes and dreams alive? Learn to believe.

It’s Christmas time and I’m sitting here in a coffee shop in my hometown in England, lapping up the atmosphere of Christmas Spirit they do so well over here. Well, ok it is a little over the top but I love it. They call it the silly season, but I still believe in the spirit of Christmas. Visiting your hometown is always going to be a little reminiscent especially at Christmas and it has got me thinking how as a little girl, I used to believe anything was possible. That I could do anything, be anything have anything. If I wanted something, I’d go get it. A job, a holiday, a new pair of jeans, a place at my chosen University – It was pretty simple and things kinda fell into place quite easily.

The thing is, life has a way of taking away that simple ability to choose and go get what you want. We overthink, over-plan, overwork and start doubting our decisions. Things don’t go according to plan and the wonder of life gets buried in chores, duties, and demands and our ability to believe gets watered down and possibly even washed away.

I still believe anything is possible, I’m certain that is the case, but I know now that not everything is likely. Some things that were a ‘dead certainty’ for me have turned into an ‘I doubt it now’. I’ve been dealt enough false starts to let the doubts and dreads creep in and to be honest, it’s been a bit of struggle to sometimes turn it around and keep believing in what is possible for my life. Life has chipped away at my youthful energy and replaced it with a mature kind of reality that I, and most people I know, learn to live with and accept. But I know that many people let these hurdles chip away so much that they give up on their dreams. Many even experience far worse with anxiety and fear taking over their lives on a daily basis.

Amongst all the wishing, wanting, desiring and planning, I have learned a far more valuable lesson that gives me more peace and happiness than any possessions or achievement could ever give me. Because right now, I have more purpose and meaning than I ever had, I have a deeper knowing around who I am and what I really want. I’ve found a calm, centered place that I can go to regain belief in myself, faith in my direction. A place I can go where I can believe in me again. In my choices. In my direction. And that’s pretty much everything to me.

I have the faith and belief that I can do things My Way and that will be OK. Over the years I’ve tried to fit in, stand out, do things differently, do things that I was uncomfortable with, do things I didn’t want to do but felt I should do. I’ve followed gurus and learned from ‘experts’. Now I’m learning to trust myself again and do things that I believe will work and that I believe in wholeheartedly. I’ve learned to believe in myself, in my choices.

Because after all, if we can’t believe in ourselves, who can we believe in?

There are many – MANY things we can’t 100% rely on happening. Stuff happens. Good and Bad. Things don’t always work out as planned, in fact, things rarely work out as planned. Life doesn’t stay steady any more than Santa is going to jump down our chimney. But without good, there’d be no bad, ups and downs are the natural order of things. What we can do is learn to manage how we handle events and how we bounce back and get on moving towards what we really want, without being attached to whether we get it! How we get back to believing in ourselves again – every day.

I’ve learned a few key tricks that bring me back on track, back to believing … Here’s one of my favorites, it’s a simple mantra I use if doubts creep in:


The biggest problem with making a dream happen, or following an unknown path, is looking too far ahead and looking for answers that you won’t find – yet, or looking at the skills and knowledge you don’t have – yet, or getting overwhelmed with what it’s going to take to get to where you want to go. So, instead of worrying about all that, I simply acknowledge that – maybe it’s possible. I don’t discount it and give up. I don’t worry and stress and work myself silly trying to make it happen. I just say – maybe. Then I start to look for ways forward that may be possible. I start to look for signs and ideas that could take me closer. And most of all I listen to how I want to do it, how I choose to get there, how I can make it happen rather than looking at all the ways other people have done it, or not done it. And all the while I try to stay detached from the outcome, because whether I do or whether I don’t, I have found something far more valuable, that’s having the belief that it’s possible.

Find a quiet space inside where we can go and whisper to ourselves, maybe – just maybe – I can find a way My Way.

So yes, there are a lot of things I still want. Some material, some experiences, but the thing that brings me the most peace, is the knowledge that I can now get back on track and believe in myself again, belief in my own path.

As it’s nearing the end of the year, it’s a great time to check in and recommit to your direction or to let go of what is not serving you perhaps. It’s a time of mixed feelings – relief that a break is around the corner and hope that next year will bring prosperity and happiness.

  1. What do you believe to be possible in your life?
  2. What are your dreams and desires?
  3. What have you given up on?
    Can you start with Maybe?