How to know when to Recommit and when to Release

If you’re working on a big project, like building a business, sometimes you reach a point when you question your steps and even ask yourself if it’s time to walk away. It’s a times like these we need to ask ourselves a few hard questions and decided if it’s time to recommit, or time to release.

It’s easy to keep plugging away at something, either through the lack of courage to face it head on and actually ask if it’s what you really want to be doing, or because you kinda just fall back into a groove and keep going. Or because you’re doggedly determined that you’re gonna make it happen no matter what, when in reality, things need a shake up. But how do you choose which to keep and which to let go of?

After a bit of a break and coping with some sad events, I know it’s time to review what I’m focused on. To take stock and re-assess where I’m spending my precious time.

For me, I like to be either 100% in or 100% out. If I’m sitting on the fence wondering if I’m doing the right thing and ignoring niggling doubts, I can’t focus properly and I won’t enjoy my day!  It’s the worst feeling to be half-in half-out. You end up doing things half-heartedly with a niggling feeling that keeps questioning yourself all the time. The fact is, we can choose to do anything, there’s no real right or wrong, only a decision that we choose to adopt whole-heartedly, or not. The outcome is never guaranteed. The results are never known. No matter how hard we work, or how focused we are, we never really know for sure if it’s right or wrong, or if it will work or not.

The most important thing is whether we believe in what we’re doing and how we take actions based on the decision we’ve made. If we approach it with doubt and insecurity, it’s pretty much doomed for failure. If we approach it with faith and confidence, there’s a much stronger chance of success and of course enjoying the steps along the way.

I’ve hung on to things in the past that could have bene let go of much earlier, and I’ve let things go that could have maybe worked if I’d given it more time. Because sometimes things do need to change. It’s the most natural thing in the world, change, but one that we all resist so much. It’s not as scary as you think, it’s the making the decision that is really the most difficult, once the decision is made, the change happens more easily. So how do you make a decision whether to change things or keep going?

If you’re sitting on the fence with a few decisions that need to be made, here’s a questionnaire you can use to help make your choices from a well-rounded perspective on things. First, I suggest you get really clear on what you’re trying to decide, what do you want to re-commit to? Or what would you like to improve, change or maybe leave? We have three choices at any given time: We can accept things the way they are, we can change things, or we can leave them. Then go to a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for about an hour and ask yourself the following questions. Answer them honestly and clearly.

  1. Do you just need to re-commit? Everyone needs to re-commit and there’s no problem with that. We can all lose sight of the end vision and forget the real reasons why we are doing something, so it’s so important to tune in with those reasons and visions regularly.
  2. Get Real. Sometimes we need to take a reality check and take a step back from the doing and check that what we are doing is taking us where we want to go. Is the work, effort, sacrifice you’re taking worth the end result?
  3. Don’t take the cookies out before they’re cooked. Sometimes we just expect things to happen too quickly – but how quickly is too quickly?
  4. Are you too hung up on the outcome? If all you’re hankering for is the end result, you’re missing the journey along the way.
  5. Are you worried about what others will think, say or do?
  6. Take a joy test! How much enjoyment are you getting? There’s a ‘shit’ sandwich in anything we do, but I don’t think this should be a very big one! How much time are you realistically putting into your project and how much is bringing you joy?
  7. How often have you been thinking about changing it? Has it been consuming your thoughts for some time and you’ve been pushing them away?
  8. Take the balance test. What have you let slip in order to focus on your goals and visions. Sometimes we get too hung up on one thing and lose sight of the other equally important things in our lives that need attention.
  9. Are your expectations too high?
  10. What can you do to change things? How can you approach things differently? What are you choices right now? (Accept it, change it or leave)

Once you’ve been through the ten questions, you should have some clarity around what you’d like to recommit to and what you’d like to release. To really commit, now is the best time to make some clear and solid decisions that you feel your can commit to. Choose a timeframe that you’re comfortable committing to, don’t make it too long so you run the risk of burning out, but don’t make it too short so you can’t see any results. I recommend around 3-4 months if possible.

To help you work through these questions, I’ve created you a template.

You can download it as a pdf HERE.


    Download this 10 question template to assess where you need to recommit and what you need to release.

Take the time to use when you feel the need to make some changes – you will feel clearer and more confident about the decisions you’re able to commit to!

Release the stress – allow a path to open up in front of you

The one thing that causes us more pain and frustration than anything, I believe, is the desire to make things happen. Our obsessions as humans, with goals, deadlines, outcomes, results causes dissatisfaction and stress. Even those words themselves make me feel a bit stressed!

I know myself, that whenever stress comes along and I get to the root of the problem, it’s pretty much always because I’ve lost the enjoyment in the moment, because I’m looking too far down the path towards an outcome or an end result.  You’d think by now that we’d have realised that the beauty and the real essence of life is in the here and now. But we’re still obsessed with trying to control things!

But then how do you achieve anything without goals? How does anything get done without a deadline? If we don’t know where we’re going, how are we going to get there? And how do we know if we’ve done it right? Been successful?

These questions are based on an old paradigm, one that needs a severe overhaul.

I know I’d be happy and content a lot more if I could learn to live in flow. And that is my desire – to eliminate stress. To let go of the need to know. To release the fear around achieving and outcome. To stop worrying about whether ‘it will work’ or ‘if it’s right’ or ‘if it’s the best way’ and just allow the next steps to unfold with faith and trust that my inner knowing is guiding me.

How do you do that? Cultivate self-awareness – which leads to a higher level of consciousness. That simply means being quiet and awake enough to hear and know – to see the signs and hear the guidance that comes from within and putting ourselves in the best possible mind space to make the next best decision!

Think about a time when you were quietly confident about your chosen path. Maybe it was one that others doubted or questioned, but you just knew that you were on the right path and you were going down it regardless. That’s the kind of quiet confidence you get when you know yourself enough to make your decisions with confidence and faith that you’ll meet the people you need when you step out on the path and that you’ll work out what you need to do when you need to.

Maybe it sounds a little intangible – verging on woo woo and quite possibly irresponsible, but let’s think about this for a minute.

We want to let go of worry. When did worrying about anything ever improve a situation? Worrying simply takes you out of flow and inhibits your ability to make good decisions in the moment.

How do we know if something is ‘right’. How can anything be right or wrong? What is right for one person might be totally wrong for a another.

How is it possible to control an outcome? Life by nature is changeable and to think we can control it would be foolish.

If we are living in our highest state of consciousness, we have the power to change what’s in front of us minute by minute just by making a decision that aligns with our truest self.

The path opens up in front of you if you have self awareness and are conscious. The Big Vision Baby Steps journey is a continuous exploration of self-awareness towards living at a higher consciousness. Each step in the book gives you a bit more self-awareness and allows you to see things just a little clearer and make better, clearer decisions.

To Hear and Know leads to being able to enjoy the Here and Now

16 Simple reminders to let go and take your best steps daily

Waking up feeling the best is a rare occurrence for me. Frequently I need to shift my mindset into a more positive, happy and calm state. Keep this simple list of reminders handy and choose something you like to do in the morning – or any time – to get you back on track.

Taking the time to get into the best frame of mind helps you take your best steps every day. It’s usually something so simple that will give you that little nudge to get you feeling good again.

  1. Remind yourself not be attached to the outcome.
  2. Be open to anything and attached to nothing. Each day is a new day and a new start. Start where you are.
  3. Be in the moment. Let go of anything that blocks you from embracing the here and now. It might be something so simple that you need to let go of.
  4. Give not get. Deliver not sell. If there’s one sure-fire way to feel better, it’s to focus on someone else. So focus on what you can give and you’ll instantly open up doors and feel better.
  5. Be grateful. Always, always always see what is front of you. Don’t focus on what if’s – look at what is and don’t miss what’s already in front of you worrying about what’s not.
  6. Get grounded. Finding a way to stop and get in touch with your senses, the earth allows you to take away the chatter of the mind and tune in with your body. I like to practice a few minutes of Qi Gong and go through my 5 senses as I do it.
  7. Let go of negative thought. Bring in positive energy and ideas.
  8. Put joy at the heart of what you do. Remember the big why, the enjoyment that you want your pursuits to bring you and steer your choices towards getting more joy each day.
  9. Don’t do it to be seen. Do it to be happy. If you’re in business, it can sometimes seem a constant struggle to be seen and heard. But bottom line, we do what we do to be happy, not to be seen. When we are happy, we do great things which get noticed.
  10. Move from your head to your heart. There’s a reason why we bow our heads to our heart. It’s so we can stop and hear what our hearts want, rather than being a slave to our thoughts.
  11. Don’t try and re-create the same day twice. Be nice to yourself. So what if you didn’t exercise today and you did yesterday? So what if you feel tired today and not as energised as you did last week. Accept each day for what it is and work from there.
  12. If you can’t talk yourself out of it, walk yourself out of it. Trying to think and worry and fix everything in your head? Go for a walk. Works every time.
  13. Look at things from a higher perspective. Don’t get caught up in the detail, step back and see things from a fresh view point.
  14. Focus on the feelings. The why. Not the how. The how can stress you out. There are numerous hows and they become clear when the why is in place.
  15. Start. Do something. Anything. Write. Walk. Talk. Move. Do SOMETHING. The best you can do is the right thing. The next best thing is the wrong thing. The worst you can do is nothing.

Reminders are the best way to keep doing the things that matter most – every day.

My feeling better plan – how to stop worrying about what if and enjoy what is

When you think you’ve heard all the quotes you can, another one comes along just at the right time. “If you’re worrying about what if’s, you’re probably missing out on the what is”

I heard this on a movie last night. It’s so true for many of us. And I think it’s where we might be at right now. It’s easy to get caught up in the future, worrying about ‘what if’. Or maybe stressing about what isn’t. The thing to remember is to bring it back to the here and now. Again. And again. And again. What is here and now. What is real. What is good. What is bringing you joy and contentment.

To appreciate what is, and stop worrying about what might be, we need to stop and listen for a moment.

Here’s how I do it in four (sometimes not so) simple steps.

  1. Remove the frustration. Usually there’s some level of frustration around how I’m feeling. Maybe I’m doing something you don’t want to be doing, or resisting doing something I know I need to do. Or perhaps just experiencing a feeling of discomfort that I can’t really put my finger on. First I know I need to remove the frustration by letting go, even if just for a moment.
  2. Release the fear. Then I can begin to release any fear that might be there. Usually it’s because I’m thinking too far ahead and I need to pull myself back into the moment.
  3. Follow your heart. By focusing on the hear and now, I can begin to feel my way forward. I can usually hear thoughts that are guiding me towards a simple next step. One that brings me simple joy. Even if it’s a really small one, it’s one that gives me a feeling of calm and contentment that I follow.
  4. Find your freedom path. Then I’m usually back on some kind of calm and happy track that keeps me moving forward.

This process usually involves self-care, being nice to yourself and treating yourself with kindness rather than criticising yourself for not having your shit together! Feeling your way through and not feeding your negative or fearful thoughts.

Here’s a few things I do as I go through this process.

  1. Walk. A ten minute walk will clear the mind and refresh your thinking. Perfect way to let go and listen.
  2. Qi gong. Grounding exercise to still the mind and body. I like to introduce a few simple mantras to set my intentions.
  3. Write. The best way to let go of frustrating thoughts, un-finished ideas and pent-up fears. No-one has to see them except for you!
  4. Have a cup of tea. My all time favourite. How can you not feel better?
  5. Do some yoga. Working through the nooks and crannies of the body has a way of clearing the same in the mind.
  6. Get up and move. Just do something! The worst thing you can do is sit and ponder, it will lead to a downward spiral that’s hard to get out of.

These work – every time. How long and how many you need to do varies, but if you keep them in your daily routine, make time and space for them regularly, you will find you are more centred, calmer and have more clarity to take your next steps calmly and happily.

Soak up the details of your life – right here right now

Soak up the details of your life – right here right now. This week I’m taking the time to tune in and acknowledge what’s really important to me right now.  And that means letting go of routine, struggling and striving, for a week or two while I regroup and count my blessings!

I’ve had a great month here in the UK – It’s given me a chance to take a look at things from a higher perspective (at a distance) and my priority has been my mum. I’ve been lucky enough to be able to take quality time to enjoy and focus on what (or in this case ‘who’), is right in front of me – right here right now.

I’m always mindful of time passing when I come here because my time is limited. But that does give me a really good reason to soak everything little thing up with a photographic vision. I look at things in more detail, I’m totally present every day wherever I am, whoever I’m with because I don’t want to miss a bit. I slow down and enjoy the detail in nature. I listen more intently to my conversations. I look for more opportunities in appreciating where I am, rather than thinking about where I’d rather be. Time slows down and I get to see more, hear more, connect more. I enjoy it more and I come back with more memories. I also see and remember the good in things – I have what they call my ‘rose coloured’ glasses on – memories are shinier and prettier with those on so I try to keep them all as much as possible!

The tendency when we are with the same people every day, or in the same place, is to let those juicy details pass by without noticing them. Life sweeps us along on a tide of doing and achieving, seeking and struggling and sadly, those details get swamped in a sea of chores and mindless activities. People even become an interference rather than a joy and work becomes a necessity rather than a purposeful adventure!

I encourage you to do the same over the next week: enjoy what’s in front of you – be present for what’s here right now and let go of the need to be more, have more – just enjoy what’s here and now! Soak up the details of your life this week while you enjoy whatever you are doing this Christmas time. Sure, it may not be perfect, but it is here and it is nearly always OK. And just because someone is ‘supposedly’ going to be here next week, and the next, and the next – well maybe they won’t be. So soak it up now. Embrace what you have. Be grateful and be happy today.

Choose from joy. Can you make your 2018 a year of joyful choices?

As I continue my trip to England and enjoy spending time with my family here, I’m constantly reminded of lovely times from the past. Like how when I was a child, every Wednesday evening, my dad would take me to piano lessons. He’d then take me to a sweet shop where I would often spend way too long trying to choose a chocolate bar. I’m forever in awe at Dad’s patience waiting for me to choose!

It got me thinking about how powerful having a choice is. Every day (if we’re lucky) we are given SO many choices! Some small – what will I have for breakfast? What will I wear?  Some large. (Shall I marry my partner? Should I sell my house?)

Sometimes, though, it’s only when our choices are taken away do we realize how valuable it is – the ability to choose. The choice to walk, talk, sing, laugh, eat, move. Simple choices we take for granted every day, right up to those big life choices we make that shape our lives.

One choice I believe we overlook and maybe don’t appreciate is how we spend our time every day. Our ‘career’, our ‘job’ – the activity that we do every day that pays the bills and fuels our life. Most of us have a wide range of choices as to how we spend our days. From when we are young, we get given opportunities to take so many different and fulfilling paths.

So why is then, I wonder, that so many people choose every day to turn up to jobs that merely, or sometimes not even, tick the boxes, pay the bills, fill in time. How do they allow life to turn into a dreary drudge of existing with their days spent doing things that don’t fulfill their lives more than making money? When you think about it, it’s truly crazy. But I understand how it happens.

  • We choose from fear instead of faith.
  • We choose from duty instead of joy.
  • We choose from doubt – based on what we know now, rather than what we believe we can achieve.

I believe it’s as simple as my good friend Robyn Pacey reminds me – by choosing from the heart:

How do you choose from the heart? You find your own center and make a choice from there

  1. Make time and space for SELF-AWARENESS
  2. Allow yourself the ritual of SELF-CARE
  3. Listen to your true self and follow your JOY COMPASS
  4. Build your SELF-CONFIDENCE
  5. Learn how to re-center and RECOMMIT to what you truly care about.


  1. Make time and space for SELF-AWARENESS
    Self-awareness is as simple as allowing yourself time to hear your innermost thoughts and asking yourself the right questions. Sometimes they’re the ones you avoid. The more self-aware you are, the more you can make decisions that align with you and bring you more joy and fulfillment. If you find it difficult making decisions, it means you do not really know yourself and leads to making choices to please others – more duty than joy!
  2. Allow yourself the ritual of SELF-CARE
    Self-awareness incorporates self-care. Being kind to yourself means you allow yourself time to think, to breathe, to rest, to be. Instead of filling your life up with demands, duties, and distractions, you give yourself the gift of time to yourself, to refill your energy, to re-spark your life and hear and honor your desires.
  3. Listen to your true self and follow your JOY COMPASS
    When you are more self-aware, you allow time for self-care, you are more able to listen to and be your true self – and then you can recognize and follow your JOY COMPASS. Your joy compass is always there, but sometimes we hear, but we don’t acknowledge. We ignore the obvious and take the difficult path instead of the joyful one. Choices sometimes require courage to go a different way, choosing a different path – one that is non-conventional or maybe not approved by family or friends. Allowing yourself the simple gift of exploring what it is that really lights you up keeps your life on a truly joyful path.
  4. Build your SELF-CONFIDENCE
    With a clear sense of self, you are ready to test out your choices and allow yourself forgiveness of making mistakes. You know that decisions are not necessarily right or wrong, just different. You don’t let others dictate and totally guide your life, but you have faith that whatever choice you make you will accept and move forward with. You know you can handle the outcome and that it’s only a wrong choice if you decide it’s a wrong choice. Every decision, every action you make can be re-framed as the right one and every outcome can be seen as being OK if you choose to see it that way.
  5. Learn how to re-center and RECOMMIT to what you truly care about.
    And as you are self-aware, enjoy regular self-care, follow your joy compass with self-confidence – the only thing left to do is keep doing it! Making a choice one day means you need to follow it through. Most decisions require an ongoing commitment of some kind – so your task is to do what it takes to get back to your self-assured, self-confident ‘self’ to keep moving forward and take the necessary steps to keep going. It’s a circle – you listen, you take care of yourself, you make a choice based on joy, you confidently move forward and then you do it all over again!


If we could all choose from the heart, make decisions based on courage rather than fear and choose joy over duty, I wonder how the world would look?

If you don’t know what the question is, you’ll never find the answer.

Asking questions is sometimes the best way to move forward. And asking them out loud is much better than letting them sit and fester in your mind. Just finding the question, acknowledging the question and putting the question out there is a huge step forward, because it allows you space to wait for the answer to come back. The trouble is we spend a lot of time avoiding questions because we fear what the answer might entail. It involves thinking and that is scary huh?

We avoid thinking sometimes because we’d prefer to have things left as they are rather than disturbing unhealed wounds. Crazy as it seems, we prefer to trundle on struggling and working day after day, knowing deep down that something is not working, rather than slowing down and listening to our hearts that can guide us towards our next step. So why is it difficult to ask questions sometimes? Look at a small child and they’re full of questions. The world is just one big question! What, why, where, when … One after the other they just fall out of their mouths. But as we become adults, we hold stuff back. We think about what we say, try to craft a ‘clever question’ or a ‘question that will bear most fruit’ or just keep out mouths shut because it’s easier and we don’t want to make waves or look silly. Oh yeah, I feel that one – looking silly – we don’t want to do that do we!!!

So why are we so bad at asking questions these days? Here’s a few thoughts on that:

When we ask a question, we are acknowledging to ourselves that we don’t have the answer and sometimes that can be troublesome to our egos.
There’s many just like to think they know best, they’ve done it before so there’s nothing to learn, or that they can’t learn from anyone else.
Many a great question has gone unspoken from fear of looking foolish, or thinking that it’s silly or they should really know the answer.
We take it granted what ‘experts’ say – they must know better so who am I to question their judgement.
Then of course, you don’t know how to ask a question if you don’t know there’s an answer to be got! It’s just too hard to craft a question around a subject you don’t understand! You don’t hae the words for it –
And asking questions means you don’t know everything, you don’t have your shit together so people won’t take you seriously in your field …

Of course you don’t even have to ask the question directly to another person. Just by listening and acknowledging your own questions and releasing them out into the world, you open up space for the answer to come to you. It’s amazing how many times I’ve sat and thought about something that I’m stuck on, crafted a question, put it out there in my mind and let it go. The answer comes when you least expect it, or the person with the answer appears just at the right time with the answer to your question – often without even having to ask it directly.

Oh there’s so many reasons why we keep our mouths shut I know.

Asking questions:

  • Frees the mind to allow new ideas in
  • Helps you acknowledge your current situation from a real perspective
  • Helps you let go of worrying and fretting over what to do next
  • Keeps you curious
  • Gives you answers!
  • Helps you grow
  • Helps others grow – you’re probably going to answer a question that’s on other people’s minds too!

Holding questions back:

  • Weighs down the mind and creates stuck energy
  • Makes you feel annoyed with yourself for not having the guts to ask them!
  • Keeps you blocked from moving forward
  • Keeps you thinking inwardly and gives you a tendency to become insular
  • Stops growth for you and others

I love solving problems so I love asking questions. I love learning. I love the challenge of something new and seeking answers from a new perspective. I love to be inquisitive and curious and look for a new way, a new path, a new idea. It’s the creative in me. Here’s some great questions you might like to ask yourself

1. What is ONE question that you can ask – of yourself – or someone else, that will give you the biggest momentum, or clarity right now to move towards your dreams and visions more confidently? It might be tangible, or it might be more abstract.

Ask me now! Join me at Big Vision Baby Steps on facebook and I’ll answer your questions if I can!